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TryOut: Overa Umitate; Diaveras [APPROVED]

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TryOut: Overa Umitate; Diaveras [APPROVED]

Post by Ravilin on Wed May 09, 2012 10:00 pm

Try-out Role-Player: Diaveras
Try-out Character's Name: Overa Umitate
Try-out Character's Race: Fullbringer


Last edited by Cinder on Fri May 11, 2012 7:23 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: TryOut: Overa Umitate; Diaveras [APPROVED]

Post by Diaveras on Fri May 11, 2012 1:20 am

(Saturday, 5/12 2:31 PM)

The sky was clear, the air was calm, the temperature was moderate, yet today was quiet. Not as many people as one would expect were in the streets today, one could only see adults and some children walking around today. Why was this so? Because there was a live concert occurring and has drawn the teenage population to it. Though at current is was beginning to end, the crowd that had gathered was looking restless but this was not as wild as it had been earlier when the person they had come to see was on stage. But now this person was running through the streets before the concert fans spread out.

She had, had green hair on the stage but washed it out before leaving. Changing back into her casual appearance that was mostly different from her other appearance. She put her hair up as she moved through the street, a ribbon in her mouth and another between her hands as she was working with her hair. She was on her way to the plaza to spend the rest of her day in a more mild manner, getting away from the noise is what she usually wanted after a performance. She took the other ribbon out of her mouth and slowed to a steady walk as she came upon the plaza and was tying the other side of her hair.

The plaza had stores arranged around the pavement, in the center of which was a fountain that served as the landmark for this place. The fountain was made of stone bricks and had three levels to the tower in the middle that steadily poured out the water from the top so as to create curtains of water that fell from each level rather than streams that shot into the air then fell to the bottom. This was her favorite part of the plaza and she sometimes came just to sit at it for hours and watch the world go by. With her hair tied up now her hands were free. Placing them behind her back she stood, a smile on her face, as she looked around and wondered where to visit first.
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Re: TryOut: Overa Umitate; Diaveras [APPROVED]

Post by Ravilin on Fri May 11, 2012 10:41 am

Ben had been minding his own business, enjoying the clear sky and cool breeze.

Ben was sitting on a bamboo bench, just feet from the plaza's fountain, his back against the brown, wooden bamboo. His arms were raised, shoulder height and were wrapped around two gorgeous females. His hand's dangled just above each one's breast. One of the girls was of fair skin and light complexion, her cheeks blush red. Her hair was long and blonde, braided over her right shoulder. It reached all the way down to the dirt ground, just inches from contact. The other was a bit darker, almost with an orange hue. Very tan indeed. She bore short, neck long black hair. It gave her a Gothic persona.

His left foot lay atop his right knee, the blood within it thinning and beginning to numb. But all that didn't matter, for he had felt a presence near. A spiritually sensitive.


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Re: TryOut: Overa Umitate; Diaveras [APPROVED]

Post by Diaveras on Fri May 11, 2012 6:20 pm

A breeze came over Overa, blowing her hair into her face which caused her a bit of annoyance. Her finger's ran up the side of her head as she pushed her hair away from her eyes. The breeze remained and her hair was still swaying to it. The breeze was cool, though, and it sort of eased some tension in her that had been held from the concert. The sound of the water falling in the fountain was feint yet steady, unlike most other fountains. Indeed it felt like a completely different setting from the loud and noisy concert, so active and confusing. The peacefulness of this area was one of the reasons she had come here, to slow down after the event and just feel like the world isn't moving uncontrollably. What to do first in this place? Should she go to the cafe? Perhaps the bookstore finally received The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest. It was the only book in that series she hadn't gotten to read yet and she was hoping it would be released in the city soon. She had enjoyed the first two books of the series, they always started out at a snails pace but built up to good moments that dragged her into the story. Once she actually skipped a few classes of school just to read the book. She looked to see the bookstore was not even open, that was odd. Maybe she should just sit at the fountain for a while and dip her finger tips into the water.

She looked over at the fountain, the water was clear enough to see through to the stores on the other side. The slight bending of light passing through the curtains of water being the only sign that their flow was at any time uneven. The sound of the water falling was only coming from the bottom most curtain, being the largest and thus the the largest volume of moving water on the fountain. She closed her eyes and listened to the steady sound of the falling water, a sound she found quite easing. She hummed at a certain note as she listened to the water, she had once been inspired to write an entire song from this sound alone. She held the note as steadily as possible to mimic the steadiness of the water, this was one of her most influential ways of practicing that had helped her improve over the years. Once she felt no more air left in her lungs she opened her eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling quietly.

Her eyes were drawn to the right by the trio of people sitting at the bench near the fountain, a man that seemed to be enjoying his day with two women. Were they actual companions of his? From the way he had his arms wrapped around them it didn't seem like that was likely, was he a woman chaser by chance? That made him someone to avoid, she didn't want to be hit on or anything worse of the nature if her hypothesis weren't incorrect. She folded her hands behind her backside and swayed a bit as she walked past the trio, deciding upon going to the cafe in the hopes of getting a cup of tea to drink. Once this trio had left she'd come back out and sit at the fountain for a while. The sun reflected brightly in the surface of the water as she passed closely by the fountain, the water surface was mostly still, the only movement being small almost invisible ripples reaching out from the center from the base of the curtain of water that was falling to it.
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Re: TryOut: Overa Umitate; Diaveras [APPROVED]

Post by Ravilin on Fri May 11, 2012 7:23 pm

Try-out Profile Evaluation Section - Sub-Total: 22/36
  • General -Total: 9/12
  • Thoroughness - 2/4
  • Organization - 3/4
  • Cleanliness - 4/4

  • Character - Total: 7/12
  • Originality and creativity - 3/6
  • Character depth - 4/6

  • Fullbring - Total: 6/12
  • Originality and creativity - 4/6
  • Fullbring depth - 2/6

Try-out Post Evaluation Section - Sub-Total: 41/64
  • Creativity - Total: 10/18
  • Setting - 3/6
  • Action scene - 3/6
  • Character reaction - 4/6

  • Grammar and Sentence Structure - Total: 12/16
  • Punctuation - 4/5
  • Sentence structure - 4/5
  • Readability - 4/6

  • Storytelling Ability - Total: 4/4

  • Flow and Overall Structure - Total: 6/8
  • Post flow - 3/4
  • Post organization - 3/4

  • General Detail - Total: 9/18
  • Setting detail - 4/6
  • Character action detail - 3/6
  • Character interaction detail and integrity - 2/6

Total: 63/100

Ranked: Master
[55P - 64P]

Please proceed to edit your profile appropriately based on rank and await for final screening and approval.

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Re: TryOut: Overa Umitate; Diaveras [APPROVED]

Post by Ravilin Asura on Thu May 31, 2012 6:22 pm

New Try-Out Total: 7000P
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Re: TryOut: Overa Umitate; Diaveras [APPROVED]

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